I Survived

At the end of the last preschool year, I took my preschoolers on a field trip to Farm Country at Thanksgiving Point. We all were given a sticker to wear as admittance. I chose to wear mine for the rest of the day as an "I Survived" badge. You know, like those t-shirts that say "I survived Mt. St. Helen's" or "I survived Black Friday 2007". What did I survive? The drive with 6 preschoolers in a car all trying to see the same movie, the mud puddles, the pony rides, those infernal toys and treats at child's height which result in emotional breakdowns, etc. I always think field trips are a good idea until I actually go on one. Not sure whether I'll do it again next year. Probably I will.

Anyway, the "I Survived" badge reminded me of a commercial I just saw of a new reality TV series with the same title. Only this show appears to be real people telling the true stories of the various violent crimes that they survived. I must say I'm not in the least interested in watching that show. But it got me thinking...what have I survived? And here are some of the ideas that have been muddling around my brain ever since. I have found that reminding myself of my own success stories helps on the days I need renewed strength and the will to face another day. I invite all of you to consider your own "I Survived" stories and, if you feel so inclined, share them with the rest of us.

Here's my list:

1. I survived being a non-swimmer. Yes, that's right. You'd think a better story would be that because I can swim I survived some type of disaster. But really what I survived was years of being afraid of the water. Actually, because I still don't swim, I suppose I continue to be a survivor. I don't know if I'm still afraid of the water because I haven't tried for years. I'd like to take lessons, but who has time for that? I know you're thinking, why is this something to survive? I've got lots of reasons, just read on.

I guess it began in Middle School. We had to take 3 weeks of swimming at the spa next door to Butler Middle. Evil Miss Hitchcock was the swimming instructor. I was the only one in my class who didn't already know how to swim, and she would single me out and make me bob or stay under while I held her hand and it terrified me. She terrified me. I faked sickness, forged my parents' signatures, did anything I could to get out of swimming. It was embarassing because everyone else would watch and I felt like an idiot. But it wasn't painful enough to actually want to learn to swim.

Later my church youth group went on a river run. I went because I was told the water was flat and clear, I would be on a raft with a life preserver and there was nothing to worry about. Humph. Ever hear of rapids? Well, it happened to be that my raft was the only one that our guide had tip over the entire summer. When we approached the rapids, I held on to the rope with all my strength, squeezed the side of the raft with my knees, closed my eyes and prayed. The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and I was under water, rope still clutched in my hands, looking up to friendly outstretched hands to bring me back into the raft. What do you know, those life jackets actually work.

Then as a high schooler I went to a year end pool party. I was the only one who hadn't gotten in, was approached by 2 or 3 large guys who wanted to throw me in, and I had to beg for them to believe me that I didn't know how to swim and the water terrified me. I think they only half-believed me, but they did put me down. And, of course, everyone at the party witnessed my embarrassment.

So here's my advice: No matter how much your children scream at the side of the pool during swimming lessons, do not give up. Do not let them quit. Find a private tutor, leave the pool and let them scream, whatever. Being a non-swimmer is not fun. But it can be survived.

2. I survived high school. The trauma of relationships beginning and ending, the stupid dangerous things we did, teachers I liked and teachers I hated, school dances and ball games and choir tours and stupid boyfriends. I remember my mom saying that when you are in high school, that's your world because it's all you know. When you leave high school you realize how much more there is to the world and how pointless much of high school stuff is. I did, and she was right.

3. I survived pregnancy. When you're not the one who is pregnant, 9 months goes by pretty quick. When you're the one who is pregnant, 9 months lasts an eternity. My 3rd and last pregnancy was the worst. I had days where I just fell over onto my bed in pain and cried. I did not, however, have to throw up every day for 9 months like some women. So I know it could have been worse.

4. I survived childbirth. Carol Burnett said that labor pains are like taking your bottom lip and pulling it up over your head. I agree with her in the sense that it is a pain you cannot possibly describe or understand unless you have experienced it. I don't know what it feels like to pull my bottom lip over my head because I've never done it. I imagine it's painful, but I don't actually know. Same goes for labor. I've had two c-sections and one normal delivery which actually resulted in so much damage I would have been better off with a c-section. Want to know more? I didn't think so.

5. I survived raising more than one two year old. Each one has been different and challenging in their own ways. Sometimes the "terrible twos" last much longer than age 2. Sometimes they aren't so terrible, but it is definitely a challenging time. I'm glad I don't have to do that again.

6. I survived potty training. Not myself, of course, but my children. (Well, I assume I survived potty training myself because I don't have any problems in that area that I know of.) Potty training is like pregnancy. When you aren't the one doing it, it doesn't seem that bad. But when you are the one doing it, you think it will never end. There are no good answers or how-to's, despite hours of research in books and online. Actually, there are a lot of good answers but none of them worked for me. And then, miraculously, one day it is just done. And I can't tell you how to do it, because I don't know myself. I'm glad I don't have to that again either.

7. I survived divorce. Actually, what I really survived was 10 years in a bad relationship. Divorce was just the gate I had to go through to get out. And that gate led to a new path and a new life. To think that I'm in a nearly eight year marriage now that has never seen a fight. My first marriage had weekly fights. Divorce was hell, but I survived. Like the country song by Rodney Atkins goes:

"If you're going through hell, keep on going, don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there. Yeah, if you're going through hell keep on moving, face that fire, walk right through it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there."

A neighbor of mine said of trials: there are only two outcomes. Either you will get through it, or you'll die. Haven't died yet.