Yesterday I had my LAST DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT before the scheduled cesarean next Tuesday. It feels to good to be able to say that. Then last night I started having contractions so hard that I decided to pack a hospital bag. It didn't amount to anything, as usual (been having contractions for several weeks now). But I'm glad I packed anyway, because it took longer than I thought it would and I want to be ready just in case. My left swollen elephant leg is now so swollen that it hurts to walk or even sit. I think I went to bed around 10:00. I saw the clock on the way to the bathroom at 12:30, 1:45, 3:00, 4:30, 5:15. I finally gave up around 6:30 and just stayed up. I can't sleep well anyway because my hips hurt so bad.
On one of my late night trips to the bathroom, instead of feeling sorry for myself I found myself feeling profoundly grateful. Grateful that my indoor plumbed toilet is within 10 steps of my bed. Grateful that I haven't had nights like this while living in a one room cabin or while crossing the plains. Grateful that there haven't been 12 pregnancies like this, only to end in the early death of half of those babies. Grateful for insurance that pays for all my pregnancy care, the expert doctor who will perform my surgery, the hospital facility and care for my newborn. Grateful that my body knows how to grow a baby. Grateful for my husband. Grateful for my Heavenly Father who has allowed me to have the children I have desired.
7 more nights. I can do it.
2 comments:
You CAN do it! You WILL do it! Way to go. Growing a baby...especially the last few weeks...is no small task. And way to feel grateful instead of grumbling. That's impressive.
Can't wait to see you and your new little bundle! We pray for you, your baby, and your whole family every night.
Think of me, awake and hobbling to the bathroom myself, on a few of your own trips throughout the sleepless night. I hear you - all the way and back again.
You have done so well, and it is SO SOON.
Thank you for a list of things to be grateful for. I need reminding.
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